Hello my dear friends! It's been a while. This year has been a bit crazy, with work and friends taking up a lot of my extra time. But it's also been a turning point in my life. I became more aware of my own limitations and started to understand that what I want/expect from life and myself. My life isn't crazy amazing, but it's definitely not mediocre. That being said, I have a new blog at onmylittleisland.blogspot.com. It'll be more like an online journal, so it wil have a lot of posts about me. I'll keep this site for other news and such (I love it too much to abandon it!). So thanks for reading, and be sure to check out my new blog as well (maybe in a week or so when I have more up!).
[I was going to insert an image up here, but I dont' think this post deserves an image. >:( ]
So today was my first overnight shift at CLICC (I work at the computer lab in the library). Because it is open 24 hours 5 days a week, staff are required to work an overnight shift (2-7:30AM) once every quarter. Being new at this, I didn't come adequately prepared. I took a nap 7-9 (I couldn't sleep any more!) and drank coffee around 12 (BAD IDEA). At around 3, I was still going on the caffeine, and I posted this on my roommate's Facebook:
my eyes don't feel like they're burning anymore! SCORE! not even tired! :D :D :D
Around 5, it turned into this:
:( fml..................
It is now 5:54, my head is throbbing, and I am no longer on my caffeine high. I can't even concentrate on studying for my midterm anymore! I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Or sleep. Either would be okay. More people just walked in, but it's around 6 now, so it's no longer a strange time to be walking into a computer lab. I can tell these are all high-acheiving early-risers, the type who ALWAYS get the freaking worm. (And it's Veteran's Day! There isn't anything that you need to turn in! SLEEP IN! PLEASE!)
There's seriously a guy in the far end of the room who has been here since 2AM. And he's still here. Looking suspicious. Speaking of suspicious, there were these 2 old guys in here, and they kept walking in and out of the lab! They would LITERALLY (I dont' know why I have the urge to put that in all caps) walk out of the lab, turn on their heels, and walk back in. 2 different guys, one at a time. It was so bizarre. Okay, maybe I'm getting freaked out for nothing, but when this happens at 4 AM, it's pretty damn creepy. It made me feel like I was in a horror movie (the psychological thriller type that creeps you out long after you watch it, especially when you are sitting alone in a room or taking a shower) and I was going to be the first victim (the one no one ever remembers). :(
(Song: Far East Movement ft. Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic- Rocketeer) <--AWESOME new song!!
It started in fourth grade. There was a new kid in my class. He was a scrawny little dorky boy with glasses, and I found him to be absolutely adorable. We liked talking to each other--saying stupid little things to try to impress the other. Somehow, we found out that we lived extremely close to each other (he lived on the adjacent street). Talk about fate! I was certain this was a sign. From that moment on, every little thing we had in common would only confirm my suspicions: we were meant for each other. Everyday while driving to or from my house, I would crane my neck and look at his house, hoping to see him walk out. I would save the lollipops that my teacher gave us during break time and offer some to him. This was quite generous of me because, as you may know, my love for candy was the reason I had a mouth full of cavities as a kid. But it seemed like a small sacrifice for someone I was convinced I would one day end up marrying.
Fifth grade rolled along, and we had different teachers. We were both in the same accelerated math class though, and it was during those math classes that I started to like him even more. The seating chart had us sitting at opposite ends of the room, and he would write big signs or draw large pictures and hold them up for me to see when the teacher wasn't looking. It was as if we were in our own little world and no one else could see the ridiculously large signs we wrote to each other. Near the end of the year, the whole fifth grade went on a field trip. I was walking around with a few friends, and suddenly, a classmate ran up to me.
"He likes you! Tom says he likes you! Do you like him back?" Some other kids were curious and gathered around. As a kid, I was not too fond of having kids tease me, so I tried to be cool about it.
"Maybe THIS much," I replied after some thought. I touched my forefinger to my thumb. At this, the kids went in a frenzy, giggling and whispering to each other. On the bus ride back, the other kids sat together, forcing me to sit next to Tom. I felt embarrassed and cursed myself for getting into such a mess. But I did feel a bit giddy on the inside because I was sitting next to him. I felt that this was a great way to end fifth grade, and I really looked forward to seeing him in middle school.
Alas, disaster struck. No, he didn't have health complications or move away. He became cool. He lost those glasses I loved so much, and other girls started to notice him. There was a pretty girl in our class, and I immediately told myself to watch out for her. I wouldn't let her take away my man! During lunch one day, we were all in line to get cafeteria food. He was in line between us, and the whole time, he only spoke to her. He didn't even acknowledge my existence! As the year wore on, he had a burst of popularity, and I had a burst of pimples. I blame it on the stress that the cafeteria experience caused.
And thus began my middle school days, where the closest I ever got to love was my (sad) obsession with Orlando Bloom. (By the way, I still do glance over at his house when I pass his street. It's become habitual. Does that make me creepy??)
Maybe it's just me, but crossword puzzles are so incredibly vague! It's mind-blowing! When I was on a flight to Vancouver a few weeks ago, the lady sitting next to me was doing a crossword puzzle. I was curious because I was never able to come even remotely close to finishing a crossword in the newspaper. When I asked her how she was able to figure out so many of the blanks, she just said that after doing a few of them, she got the hang of it. Okay, so maybe these things take time, I thought to myself.
So today, I took out the newspaper and attempted to complete the crossword puzzle. Alas! I was never faced with something so difficult! Out of all of the clues, I only actually knew the answer to 3. For example, one of the clues was "Free." What does this mean?! Should I be looking for synonyms or something related to the definition of free, like "liberated"? Or should I be looking for more clever responses, like "Willy" or "speech"? There are so many possibilities!
Okay, I realize this isn't a particularly interesting post, but it really has been bugging me for quite a while!
Society has square holes, and we're all made to believe we have to be square pegs to fit into those holes. But the truth is, you can be a circle peg and fit through all the same.
This little girl looks and behaves a whole lot like a yours truly, back in the day. I seriously almost spat out my water when I watched this--it was just that bizarre. In all fairness, I was a TAD chubbier than this little girl and my bangs were a bit longer. I had the same Asian bowl-cut, though. (For an unfortunately long period of time.)
Speaking of face-stealers, while volunteering at the Mattel Children's Hospital, a little girl came up to me and told me I look like Selena Gomez. Okay, I'll admit this is kind of a stretch. But I felt flattered nonetheless. Needless to say, Mini-me Gomez is now my favorite Disney channel star. ; )
First of all, let me say that I LOVE La Roux and the original version of Bulletproof. It's very catchy, and with it's upbeat, dance-inducing quality, it's not surprising that it has been repeatedly played on the radio. Here's the video, if you haven't seen it yet:
But I find that Ariel Sabaj's slower cover of Bulletproof really catches the essence of the lyrics. To me, the song is about someone who was wounded by love attempting to become "bulletproof" to it. Becoming bulletproof would mean getting rid of vulnerability, especially with regards to emotional pain. La Roux's version makes the message edgy and defiant, whereas Ariel Sabaj gives her cover an almost tragic quality, as if trying in vain to convince herself that she won't fall in love and get wounded again. (If you're interested in the lyrics, they can be found here.)
Anyway, the reason I suddenly had the urge to make a post about this song is that I have recently found myself trying to be "bulletproof" as well. Not just to the effects of love, but to many aspects of life. When life becomes tough, I try to harden myself. I tell myself that by doing so, next time will be different. I won't get pushed around. I won't care as much. I won't be so sad. But is being bulletproof a sign of strength, or is it a loss of what makes us human?
On a lighter note, I've been talking to Mr. Potential online. He contacted me a few days after my MCAT, and we've been talking online since then. We had made plans to meet up, but the plans fell through. I hate to say it, but I wasn't exactly bummed about not seeing him (especially after our online conversations). I (sadly) spend a lot of time on AIM, and I have never had a problem with online chatting... until now. I have never been so thoroughly bored while talking to someone! Am I just making excuses? Is this just a sign of commitment issues? Who knows! But what I do know is that I was neither entertained nor intellectually stimulated during any of our conversations. This bodes not well...
Also, I'm going on vacation starting Thursday! I'll be on a cruise to Alaska, then I'll be staying in Vancouver for a couple of days with my sister and my cousin's family. It should be lots of fun!
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